Why watching movies about relationships could save your marriage!!

Think that couples therapy or intensive skill training is a solution for a rocky marriage? There may be an equally effective strategy that doesn't cost nearly as much and is enjoyable for participants.  

A new three year study by Rogge et al (2013) found that divorce rates were halved by couples who watched movies about relationships then discussed them afterwards.  The couples were given a 10 minute lecture on how watching couples in films could help them pay attention to their own behaviour prior to watching the films. 

The study compared three groups, one group using the "movie and talk" strategy, and the other two using more intense types of couples therapy (conflict management training and compassion and acceptance training) and compared these groups to a control group.

All three groups showed half the divorce rate when compared to a control group.  

The researchers states that:

“The results suggest that husbands and wives have a pretty good sense of what they might be doing right and wrong in their relationships. Thus, you might not need to teach them a whole lot of skills to cut the divorce rate. You might just need to get them to think about how they are currently behaving. And for five movies to give us a benefit over three years–that is awesome.”

The great thing about this study is that it shows us that couples don't necessarily need to spend money on expensive couples counselling, but they may in fact have the answers to their own problems!!

Be compassionate, you'll be happier and healthier!!

Being compassionate is beneficial to others, but did you know the act of compassion also benefits your psychological and physical health?

Fredrikson et al (2008) conducted a study where participants were randomly assigned to practise loving kindness meditations - firstly directed towards themselves, then directed towards a loved one.  The results of the experiment showed that participants who participated in compassionate meditation showed increased levels of daily happiness when compared to a control group.  

The researchers state "these shifts in positive emotions took time to appear and were not large in magnitude, but over the course of 9 weeks, they were linked to increases in a variety of personal resources, including mindful attention, self-acceptance, positive relations with others, and good physical health. Moreover, these gains in personal resources were consequential: They enabled people to become more satisfied with their lives and to experience fewer symptoms of depression. 
  
In addition to this, the group who participated in compassionate meditation experienced less depression, were in better physical shape, and had a better satisfaction with life than the control group.  

The researchers state that "positive emotions produce success and health as much as they reflect these good outcomes."

Want to be happier and healthier?  Find more ways to increase your positive emotions!!
Would you like to learn more about loving kindness meditation?  Click here!

Beat the green-eyed monster

Do you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others?  It's human nature to look at ourselves in relation to others, but often this can drive us crazy with endless wants and desires to be better than our neighbours.  For some of us, this can result in bad habits such as excessive spending and a focus on all things superficial.

Often we have underlying reasons for jealousy - what triggers your feelings of jealousy?  What are the thoughts running through your mind when you feel this emotion?  Are you feeling unsatisfied with an aspect of your life?

"If only I had more Chihuahuas...."

Here are some constructive strategies you can utilise to suppress your inner green-eyed monster.

1)  Consider what you're thankful for.  Next time you feel the urge to splurge on a new pair of heels, think about what it is that you do have. Reflect on your achievements, successes, positive relationships....think about what matters in life, and be thankful for it!!

2)  Focus on achieving goals and personal growth....  think about who you really want to be in this lifetime - focus on nurturing your talents, developing your skills and hitting goal posts... when you're engaged in an activity that helps you develop personally, you'll probably find you're less caught up in emotions like jealousy and more focused on bettering yourself.

3)  Identify your values - do you value financial security?  Or do you value looking fantastic to show up your best friend?  Consider your values and set goals in line with them.... looking at your savings grow will be far more fulfilling in the long run, compared to buying a new top which you will probably wear once or twice, then still feel like you need another new top.

4)  Do something positive or give back to others - prosocial acts are good for mental health!!  Participate in a fundraising activity, donate your unworn clothes to others or help a stressed out friend tidy up her apartment.  You will feel better for it.

What you wear can change your psychological processes

The confidence we feel when we put on a new outfit is evidence enough that what we wear can be easily linked to what we feel.  High heels can make a woman feel more powerful,  a blazer can make us feel more influential and a red dress - more seductive!

Just how is it that our clothing can act on the way we feel?  A study by Adam and Galinsky (2012) examined the effect of clothing on our psychological processes. 
The study found that wearing certain pieces of clothing could change our cognitive processes and enhance performance on tasks.  

The experiment began with examining the effects of wearing a lab coat.  The researchers state: 
"A pretest found that a lab coat is generally associated with attentiveness and carefulness. We therefore predicted that wearing a lab coat would increase performance on attention-related tasks. In Experiment 1, physically wearing a lab coat increased selective attention compared to not wearing a lab coat."

The second phase of the experiment examined people who beleived they were wearing a white coat described as a doctor's coat, vs people wearing a white coat described as a painter's coat.  Low and behold, the group wearing the coat described as a doctor's coat showed increased sustained attention on a task, compared to the "painter's coat" group.  

The authors conclude that the effects of the study were associated with both the symbolic meaning of the clothing, as well as the physical experience of wearing the clothes.  

With this in mind, choose your outfit carefully!  It just may affect how your think, how you perform and even what you do!!!

Here's some inspiration!

Miranda Kerr, wearing Equipment Blouse

Julianne Hough, wearing Rag and Bone Newbury Booties

Not sure about the jacket, but my pick is this Anine Bing Leather Jacket

Rachel Bilson rocking a fedora - my pick, Rag and Bone

I just found an article called "The Psychology of Lululemon" which discusses the idea that we may be more likely to engage in exercise if we look the part, and may be perceived as more confident at it by others!  Does anyone agree?  I for one, do feel more motivated to go to the gym when I have some stylish workout gear....whilst this sounds superficial, it gets me in the door, and is more likely to keep me coming back!  
What are your thoughts?

Sleep better

Having trouble sleeping?  It could be time to redecorate your bedroom.  Soft textiles, low lighting and minimal, clutter free furnishings can help in increasing your quality zzz time.  

Here are a few of my favourite inspirations....

Taken from A Cup of Jo - Bedroom makeover

Taken from apartment therapy - Alison Hotchkiss Sanfrancisco apartment

taken from Elle Decor

Taken from Apartment Therapy - Lauren and Kevin's Chicago Apartment

Make sure you consider the following factors:

• Temperature - could you be too hot at night time - this may prevent you from falling asleep.  Is there adequate airflow coming in?  
• Light - do you have thick curtains or blinds that can block out light from other houses/apartments/street lights
• Colour - choose a peaceful, sleep inducing colour scheme - try neutral walls, or even dark moody wall paint for something different

Valentines Day Blues?

Some of us despise valentines day, some of us love it... whether you're sitting at home watching Bridget Jones and eating a whole tub of Ben and Jerry's or you're out on a romantic date, why not change your perspective this valentines day and pay it forward with a gift to a friend or family member.  

If you happened to read my post on learning to spend more wisely, you'll recall that spending money on others can increase your satisfaction, more so than purchasing items for yourself!!

Why not make someone else's day on Valentines Day?  

This valentines day, we had a "secret valentine" at work - we drew names from a hat to exchange gifts amongst staff members (much like secret santa or Kris Kringle).  

I decided to make these Donna Hay Vanilla Snap Cookies, with a love theme!!!  These cookies taste fantastic and are really easy to make!  They're perfect for cutting into all sorts of fun shapes.

 I packed them up into a cute jar with some ribbon to turn them into a cost effective gift, made with love!

I hope my secret valentine enjoys their surprise!

Gifts don't have to be expensive to make someone's day....as a bonus, there's leftover cookies at home too!! 

Reading literary fiction helps increase social skills

Looking to increase your social skills?  Put down that copy of Twilight/50 Shades of Grey/whatever random Dan Brown novel immediately, and pick up some Salinger, Joyce, Austin or Carver!!  It may help you to better understand and identify the emotions of others and improve your interpersonal relationships!

A study by Kidd and Castano (2013) measured the effects of reading literary fiction on increasing social skills, or "theory of mind skills."Theory of Mind skills include the ability to identify and understand the emotional states of others.  Such skills help us to build interpersonal relationships.  

Shift Dress - Stellino Designs

Lipstick - Mac, Snob

Glasses - Burberry

The authors state "The capacity to identify and understand others’ subjective states is one of the most stunning products of human evolution. It allows successful navigation of complex social relationships and helps to support the empathic responses that maintain them. Deficits in this set of abilities, commonly referred to as Theory of Mind (ToM), are associated with psychopathologies marked by interpersonal difficulties. Even when the ability is intact, disengagement of ToM has been linked to the breakdown of positive interpersonal and intergroup relationships"

The authors conducted five experiments which compared reading a few pages of literary fiction, against non-fiction or popular fiction.  The results showed that the readers of literary fiction passages vs the other groups, displayed  the immediate ability to discern people's emotions from pictures of their faces.  

More reason than ever to burn your Twilight novels!!  

What are some of your favourite literary fiction novels?

Here are a few of mine!!

Weekly Roundup

Another week done and dusted!!  Here are some of my favourite links from around the web this week.

The health hazards of sitting and how to reverse them

Add some extra style to your business cards

The psychological benefits of a later school start time on adolescents 

So many vitamins, so little time!!  A vitamin and supplement cheat sheet

This glazed chocolate tart looks delicious, another excuse to bake!

A great gift idea for your host the next time you attend a dinner party

For the love of money 

Resisting the urge to buy another pair of ankle boots, in black!!

How happy are you?  Try the Authentic Happiness Questionnaire!!

Pop Therapy - January Recap!!

Thanks for tuning in for the first two months of Pop Therapy!!  I hope you've enjoyed reading my blog so far!!  Stay tuned for another massive month in February.

Just to recap...here are a few of my fav posts from January.

1.  Baking Therapy
2.  The Psychological Benefits of Playing Music
3.  Living in Green Spaces Improves Mental Health
4.  Baking Therapy Part 2 - Impromptu Tea Party